I do miss the times when i got A's...coz its so bloody damn difficult to get it unless you're a solar-powered battery whose brains work all the time in the presence of sunlight...i just have this god damn feeling that i am failing in all my subjects...i just feel i won't have any A's for this exam...its just so difficult...

The chemistry paper today was difficult...and i am sure i have secured an A...i studied and concentrated on salts but most that came up were about acids and bases...but luckily i had some prior knowledge and paid attention during class...and i did study ok...and a.maths was a total failure/downfall/murder coz half of the paper was difficult for me i can say...and i totaly felt blank when it comes to logarithms...even though i studied like super hard till i was crying blood...then i just hope i can pass...maybe 60 marks...i dunno...and i don't wanna keep failing and failing...it's just not a great feeling...

So i was like omg omg during the paper...and frankly, i've given up on the sec 3 subjects already...with the burden on top of my head and my shoulders, i am sinking each day...and i don't know why my parents expect A's from me...hello, i am so not smart...maybe i was doing alright in primary school but i'm like in secondary school right now...times have changed...and i am dying studying...

I feel you guys just want me to get an A just for the sake of getting it...yeah i know its for my future but i just do not get it...its always my failed subjects that is usually brought up in conversations...what about my A's???what abot my history marks???what about my tests that i did well???well, maybe you're too busy working you forgotten about the little success that i had... and the hours of my studying time...like the 5 hours straight every weekend...and my tuition hours...and all those bloody times i have to endure your lectures...

I HAVE GROWN TO DISDAIN YOU GUYS
and i can't wait to go to university coz i know i will
and being millions of miles from you guys

Note to self: I AM FALLING FROM GRACE, MY GRACE

Labels: frustrations